Interpersonal Relations

Human beings are social animals and need to interact with one another with amity. They remain restless if they make some friends and some enemies or engage in groupism.

When one considers some as friends and some as foes, then the mind remains restless. M: 5, p 278. Jab dhaarai ko-oo bairi meet.

It should also be realized that all relationships have two characteristics. Firstly, everyone has own interests in mind. Secondly, all relationships are transitory, and certainly end with death. People tend to go out of their way or use unfair means for benefits of family or friends. However, the latter are not there to share consequences of wrongdoings whether in this life, legally or socially and in the hereafter by divine justice.

The wife wants gold and silver, while friends want good food/enjoyment. One commits sins for them but him/herself faces divine justice. M: 1, p 151. Kaaman lorrai suina rupa.

One engages in numerous machinations to deceive others and spends that money on the spouse and children. O my mind, do not be deluded, your soul will have to account for this. Kabir, p 656. Bahu parpanch kar par dhan liaavai.

O human, you accumulate wealth unfairly and you get curses of victims. Those for whose sake you do this they along with you will perish. M: 5, p 42. Laida bad duaaey too.

The truth is

Plenty of people come and give company to one in prosperity. But everyone forsakes company when adversity strikes. M: 9, p 634. Sukh mah aan bahut mil baitthat.

Remember,

As long as we are in the world, we should listen to something and say something, i.e. maintain relationships. One can search but shall not find anyone who lives here forever; therefore be unattached like a dead person, while alive. M:1, p 660. Jab lag duneeaa raheeai.

Some people get emotionally attached to relatives and forget God.

Enchanted by attachment to the world-play one thinks God is far somewhere. But the Almighty is ever present within everyone. M; 5, p 210. Moh mohiaa jaanai door hai.

There are others who get into conflicts.

A self-willed person forgets God and engages in possessiveness, greed and vanity. S/he does not reflect on divine commands and passes life in conflicts. M: 4, p 316. Manmukh moolhu bhuliaa vich lab lobh ahankaar.

In case of conflict there is a tendency to blame the other side. However, on reflection one may find the blame lies with the self.

Jealousy is removed with company/guidance of the guru. Then none is seen as enemy or alien, and we get along with everyone. The One Almighty pervades in everyone, and I am happy to meet everyone. M: 5, p 1299. Bisar gaee sabh taat paraaee.

One can learn from wise people speaking to others.

Wise persons may be speaking in some context but their words have relevance for all. One who is alert, listens to them respectfully and sees them for application to the self. M: 3, p 647. Partheey saakhi maha purakh boldey.

Speaking sweet words without sincere love is falsehood. Such a person considers the relationship good as long s/he receives and the other gives. M: 1, p 594. Nanak gaali koorreeaa.

Note: The examples of real love or otherwise are analogies of dedication to the divine.

The Sufi saint Sheikh Farid, puts it like this.

Those who love from the heart are truthful in their words of love/devotion. Those who who have one thing in mind and say another from the mouth are false. Farid, p 488. Dilhu muhabat jin seyee sachiaa.

Falsehood and deceit does not remain hidden and the cover is exposed. M; 4, p 303. Koorr tthagi gujhi na rahai.

A person’s conduct is reflection of the mind. One who is conscious of good and bad, thinks before speaking or acting.

An unmindful person does not understand the self and hurts others with his/her words. M: 3, p 549. Aapna aap na pachhaanai moorra.

A true seeker sees God in all and does not hurt anyone. All minds are valuable with God’s presence, it is not good to hurt anyone.

Do not say an arrogant word to anyone; the Almighty is present in all. Do not hurt anyone, all hearts are priceless. 129. Farid, p 1384. Ik phikaa na galaaey sabhna mah saachaa dhani.

All minds are precious gems, it is not good to hurt them. If you yearn for the Almighty, do not hurt anyone’s mind. 130. Farid, p 1384. Sabhna man maank, tthaahan mool machaangva.

One who understands the self gets awareness of God’s presence everywhere and recognize in self and everyone. M; 3, 769. Aap pachaanah ta sach jaanah.